Most gay men are afraid of conflicts assuming that conflicts are BAD for relationships. The truth is that conflicts can serve as THE PERFECT WINDOW into someone’s soul – helping make the connection a lot stronger. So instead of running away from conflicts – stay inside them and magic will happen.
First, let’s discuss the basics of communication during dating. Initially, your main approach should be about developing a friendly and enjoyable presence. This is why we want to be agreeable, easy going and friendly. Your communication should be very general, without sharp edges and expressions of radical ideas and opinions.
But after you build initial rapport, this is where you want to introduce conflict as a way to break through the masks and reveal the authentic desire to be around each other. How does this work?
When you notice something that you don’t like, point it out. At times when you have been easy-going – introduce a preference. Whenever you used to be accepting and tolerant, share an opinion that is stronger, which triggers his objections.
Whichever way you introduce the conflict is up to you – the main purpose is to introduce a spike in emotional sharing and negotiating. Once this is happening – be as brutally authentic as possible so the he sees your true intentions.
The following day, call him and apologize for the tension and admit that you have taken it too far and that you will keep things in check next time around.
If he is a relationship-ready person – he will accept your apology and discover that you are a REAL person and he will from this day forward feel more connected to you than before. This strategy works almost every time with those men who are authentic and genuine about relationships.
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