How Trauma Works (Gay)

Take your life to the next level


It is time to talk about the normalization of abuse across the gay culture on Grindr, virtually all hookup apps, and dating platforms. Why are gay men so judgmental and so cruel to each other? Why is abuse so common and why are we doing nothing about it? Why is BDSM normalized and why are words like “Queer” used despite their derogatory meaning?

These questions are important to answer if we want wholesome and loving relationships because in the presence of abuse and trauma those relationships are impossible. Most of us are familiar with the term homophobia, but very few gay men understand how trauma affects our consciousness, our cognition, and behavior.

Homophobia is a real thing – we are surrounded by heterosexual norms that often reject the validity of gayness and negate it – causing gay men to feel worthless, humiliated, and rejected. We also know that gay men internalize homophobic attitudes and then project them onto other gay men with judgments and criticisms.

This is nothing new and most gay men are familiar with the concepts of projection and homophobia. But what we don’t talk about is the presence and effects of trauma on gay men, their identity, principles, and sexuality.

The starting point is to understand that most of us discover life-sustaining principles through our tradition and early years of schooling and we use those principles to stay strong, to find happiness, and to find love. Trauma in this context is an event or situation that attacks those principles and dissolves them such that we no longer remember them and are left disempowered, victimized, and confused. This is what we will talk about in this video.

First, we will describe Trauma as an injury to the life-sustaining principles and boundaries and then we will do a demonstration of how trauma works with language, identity, and sexuality. You will find this video very powerful in revealing to you a hidden form of injury that happens to all gay men and how to heal from it.

You will also discover ways to protect yourself from Trauma and how to meet gay men who are available for loving and kind relationships outside of the homophobic attitudes and the tentacles of trauma.

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