Discover five brave ideas that will help you break through the dysfunctions of the modern gay culture and create the relationships you always wanted, including getting married.
The first idea is to recognize that gay men are not taught how relationships work the way that straight people are taught. From an early age, straight people are bombarded with ideas about love, sex, and marriage. Because we never receive the gay equivalent version of those lessons from parents, family members or teachers, we are often left on our own to figure it out and can be easily led astray.
What the gay culture teaches us about relationships has never seen the scrutiny it deserves. Often times, advice from friends and hookup buddies oversimplifies the concept of relationships. They make us believe that the formation of relationships does not require mutual trust and an emotional connection but instead is based on sexual urges.
Instead of listening to single friends, gay men should find alternatives. Good sources for relationship advice are those men who are already in relationships and who show concern and passion about the concept of love. Those men are not easily distracted by sex or entertainment. They protect the meaning of relationships by relying on social sciences such as psychology and sociology. They also promote only those ideas that can help other gay men find the love they seek instead of promoting cute and sexy ideas that are politically correct yet create years of confusion about how love and relationships really work.
The second idea is to go to the nearest bookstore or library and read books on the science of relationships. Yes, there is a science and a method to healthy relationship development, just like there is a science to business strategy and marketing. Being in a relationship requires a certain set of competencies that gay men need to learn. These competencies often include the science of compatibility, the psychology of sexuality and the psychology of bonding.
Once they learn those competencies, they are better prepared to deal with the irrational patterns of human nature, especially in the gay culture. The biggest reason why so many relationships fail is because of the lack of preparedness and competency.
The third idea is to permanently cut the cord with online dating apps and websites. They are dysfunctional and toxic environments because they normalize bad behaviors (objectification, lying, selfishness, game-playing, etc.) and vilify good ones (being honest, kind, empathetic etc.).
Continued use of hookup apps creates emotional and psychological bleeding and trains gay men to perpetuate entitlement and ambivalence about human relationships. Once gay men cut ties with these apps, it often takes months to heal and retrain the brain to accept the skills and competencies that actually have the chance to make long-term relationships possible.
The fourth idea is about not letting the gay culture victimize gay men. The gay culture is a relatively new phenomenon that came out of chaos with no clear structure, leadership, and guidance. As a result, sexual promiscuity blossomed. Also, groups that have labels (such as drag queens, leather men, bears etc.) are based on sexual-affiliation and don’t provide a healthy space where members can relate based on authenticity and trust.
In order to promote group cohesion, these groups allow tribalism and primitivism, even if such actions are destructive, both towards self and others. To avoid falling victim to behaviors they promote, meet men during business networking events, book clubs, and educational events that invite those men who are on the path of growth and learning.
The fifth idea is to reconsider your participation in anal sex and sexual compatibility, which are often at the forefront of gay culture. Regarding anal sex, it is actually a much more risky practice than you might realize. It is recommended that every gay man researches anal sex with a focus on anal cancers and blood sepsis.
In regards to sexual compatibility – most relationships that begin that way almost always end up in years of regression and struggle because both men give value to behaviors that have no possibility of making them better, stronger in real life. Because sexual compatibility does not require the presence of strong character, those men who prioritize it, are often the worse life partners for anyone.
While sex is an important component of long-term relationships, sexual compatibility comes naturally when mutual trust and emotional safety have been established.